I'm on the Pursuit of Something...

I'm not going to lie, the start of October has been a little rough. Like most twenty-somethings, I feel like I'm at the time where I'm really beginning to understand what it is I want to be when I grow up. I know, that question is one we get so many times as kids, but when you're a kid... I don't think you have the same perspective or even understanding on where you are in life to know who or what it is you want to be.

So right now, as I'm in between jobs, I find myself sometimes walking that fine line between complacency and, well for lack of a better word, fear, and actually working toward achieving my dream. Mind you, I understand that dreams come true, not free, and that if I want something bad enough... I'm going to have to work to make it happen, but then this nagging, nay crushing, fear sometimes settles in and makes me question everything.

Back in the day, I put pen to paper and wrote about fear, so I'll share that now with you.
Fear
My biggest fear
Being nothing
I try and I try
Sometimes too hard
Sometimes not enough
But what happens if I try and nothing happens
I know it's silly to have my walls
I know it's silly to have my defenses
But what happens if my dreams don't come true?
I have nothing...
And my biggest fear...
Is being nothing.

Don't worry readers, I'm not typically a Debbie Downer. It's just that at that moment, I was so overwhelmed with fear that I succumbed to it. I let it control me, instead of believing in the possibility that it might work out as planned.

So as I was driving home tonight, one of my favorite jams from Kid Cudi came on the iPod. His track, "The Pursuit of Happiness" is a great mashup between Cudi and the boys from MGMT. The thing that really gets me thinking with this song, though, is the hook.

"I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know... everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold. I'll be fine, once I get it, I'll be good."

Anyway, feel free to peruse the video below and I know that I'll be fine, once I get it...