Happy Hol-I'm-in-a-daze

I know I've been sporadic posting this month. A lot of things in life have been clamoring for my attention, tugging my heartstrings and have caused my racing brain to go into overdrive this December. Life has been throwing me curve balls as of late, and from saying so long, but not goodbye, to my dear friend P who moved to the right coast - to planning what will likely be one of my hardest so longs to-date, I've truthfully been at a loss for words when trying to explain my life.

Per usual, I turned to music to ease my soul just a little bit, and once again the universe had a funny way of giving me a nudge (my friend CW would call it a wink - sidebar, if you want a very interesting read check it out). Typically when I get ready for work my routine is the same... drag my feet as I get ready whilst listening to music a la VH1 or MTV on in the background (yes, those channels still play some music). Anyway, on one particular morning when I was in a full on Debbie Downer, woe is me, what will I do mood - the latest song, "Strip Me" from Natasha Bedingfield came on. I'm fully aware that she is a pop princess, and that this song will likely grace the KISS FM top 20 lists for some time, but the one verse that struck and well stuck with me goes:

"If you strip me, strip it all away, if you strip me...what would you find? If you strip me, strip it all away... I'll be alright. Take what you want, steal my pride, build me up or cut me down to size. Shut me out, but I'll just scream...I'm only one voice in a million, but you ain't taking that from me."   

If you're wondering why, well, spoiler alert - I'm a little bit of a control freak, and when my BFF moves back home in the new year I freaked out because for the first time in forever, I'd be alone. Now, I know I'm not alone - I'm thankful and lucky enough to know I have a solid group of friends who really have become my family here. However, that doesn't mean that it's not scary to think that my anchor, my rock, won't be a car ride away. Anyway, when I heard this song... I kind of took the verse/refrain that I wrote above as my mantra for the new year. I realized that this is my life, and no one else or nothing else can define my life but me.

So as 2010 rapidly draws to an end, I'm going to remind myself of my new mantra and will promise myself to remember that as my great TV friend Carrie Bradshaw said, "After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away."